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OTWanderlust
Bride to be Midnight Thoughts part 1
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Prolog
This writing will be very related to you who’s counting down to have a long term commitment, the ‘death do us part vow’, with someone.For you who don’t relate, just have fun in this honest article on how I see marriage from a bride to be point of view.. and after series of contemplation and self re-assured —“yes dear, this is happening”. Maybe you’ve been here before or will experience it in near future, whatever it is I’m gonna say this once again, you’re not alone.
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Every words, every decisions we make—It’s all started from what, with whom, where, when, and how we think about it.
I used to think marriage was a virtue. It’s a social concept built for centuries, for man and woman to be socially allowed living under one roof and to be legally raising kids and bla bla bla boring things.
These ideas have been evolving until today. Now, I want to get married, because turns out.. I want to have a family of my own. I want to have and raise kids with their loving, mature, and responsible father. I don’t want to spend my old and gray days alone. Funny how this mind can change, as I remember clearly the 18 y.o. me thought these ideas were sooo out of my sight.
Those values and ideas define the decisions I make today. I don’t want to get married just because I want to be accepted socially and legally by my country. I don’t want to get married “just because”. I want it to be a conscious choice, when I am ready mentally and have the right partner to share it with.
Aaand here we go about this thing... the right partner, the major issue of everyone’s idea to settle down.
For me, this issue has been around since forever. Okay, here’s the thing, I am a Libra. If you know anyone with this star sign, I bet they believe in things like ‘true love’, pursue living in (unrealistic) daydreams, and adore beautiful and sparkling things.
Therefore in relationship, I always seek for my kind of ‘knight in a shining armor’ —which was NONE. There was no such thing like ‘prince charming’ or the ‘Mr. Right’. There was no guy who's perfect in any ways possible based on my standard. Learnt this the hard way in the past dating years.
Where on earth a perfect person exists anyway?
People are born perfect with their imperfections, including your partner. And me, you, her, him.. oh, don’t we all?
The little difference that makes us see other people as perfect human being is ‘love’. The depth and sincerity of our love to someone, makes us love him/her just the way they are. Their strengths, weaknesses, characters, all in one package.
This 'love' thing is truly an endless journey. As this kind of love is beyond that ‘stars and rainbows’ phase, where it requires all of me to let my ego down and to patiently listen, accept, and compromise. Thus, keep reminding myself that ‘I am not perfect, so does he. Just give us time and chances to love each other.’
At last, I finally realize —it is a two way efforts on this right partner matter. For a long haul relationship with the ‘Mr. Right’, one is obliged to be the ‘Mrs. Right’ as well. Both are needed to be in it together, to be in love with each other.
A dear friend once said, “don’t look for the one, be ‘the one’ "
It’s definitely not easy, however, I’m continously working on it.
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Written on my rest day at Surabaya, after 3 days exploring Mt. Semeru with all strong women of Arei Outdoor Gear #WomeninAdventure.
